Five years and a half in college was a long time. I was young and eager to go out into the world. I was ready to be somebody everyone would look up to.
We were told, the world is yours for the taking. I have to admit, when I chose engineering for a course my sole purpose was the greatness that comes with the title.
I had the best laid plans. But unknowingly, this was nothing to what the Lord has in store for me. Being the risk taker that I am, I jumped into the crazy world of Engineering. Honestly, I don’t have a knack for numbers and the sciences. It was my Waterloo.
Yet, Inside me was that deep desire to prove to myself and everyone that I can conquer my weakness plus my love for going into the unknown. After graduating, I took the Board exams for Civil Engineering. My dreams were just within my grasp.
Results came and I failed.
The world suddenly lost it’s color. In my sorrow, I had a friend told me – “Maybe God wats you to do something first before He makes into an engineer.” He could be right after all. I then served in the community and entered Singles for Christ. I prayed for acceptance and patience. I then applied for a second chance. My faith was renewed within me. Into wherever path He will take me, victory or failure I will praise the Lord. Results came and miracles do happen. By God’s grace, I passed! What a joyful moment!
Shortly after that, I was accepted in a geothermal company just in our local. I was again filled with dreams. As an act of gratefulness to the Lord, I continued serving and persevered in my relationship with my God – I owe him this one I thought to myself.
One day as we were riding our shuttle to the site up in the mountains, I was listening to a liveloud song. I was led to tears with a vision – I was standing in front of crowds, sharing and leading a worship. I became fearful. I told God – ” This couldn’t happen, we have our plans right?”
And it was the beginning of Christ’s gentle call to my heart.
I was in denial but all roads pointed to his invitation – to take that radical adventure into loving Him and going after the lost sheep. Soon after I found the Gospels reaching into my soul’s depths. I was Jonah, the reluctant missionary, the blind man who begged for sight, the lepper who asked for healing. I was even the Pharisee who found it hard to recognize the voice of the Shepherd. I needed more evidences if He indeed was calling me.
His affirmations rushed to me through homilies during the Mass. I was never into the Catholic faith before but He was also revealing to me His will through the Eucharist. As if telling me “If you’ve been nourished by Me, so must you nourish others by proclaiming the Word”. All these were like fire burning in my heart. I was drawn all the more into taking that leap of faith.
That was the best time to follow the Sheperd’s voice.
“Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself,[a] take up his cross, and follow me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” – Mt. 16:24-25.
It was one of the most radical things I’ve done, beyond the uncertainty I was at peace. As one Christian author puts it. “Never in a million years can you go wrong, doing the will of the Lord for you.”
Five years into the mission and I am still grateful. That the Lord out of my selfishness and life of sin brought me into the light. That like him, I can be blessed, broken and shared. When I am in the company of my fellow missionaries and especially during Mass, I am ever affirmed that this is the path of greatest love. That I may have lost the glory of what my ambitions could give me, but I have found the fullness of life in Christ. Wherever I go, when I am welcomed in families, I bear them the peace of Christ. Whenever I am praying and taking care of people, God is providing for my family as well. Whenever I accompany the lost, least and last, it is Christ I am beholding.
How sweet it is when that faithful day comes that our Father calls us back to His Home. He will welcome us with his embrace, smiling at us as he tells us “Well done my good and faithful servant”.
