There is no such thing as coincidence when God calls you, sure yun! Ang tanong ay kung ready kana ba sumagot sa tawag Niya?
This is a typical scene that happens when my coordinators are gathered in a certain activity, and they would randomly ask me if I want to work as fulltime missionary. Pero ang sagot ko lang lagi ay “Hindi po, serve lang muna”. Later did I realize that my answer to that question transformed from a statement to a prayer. “Ayaw ko ba talaga? Ginagawa ko lang ba ito para magserve lang?” I felt that deep in my heart that it was more than that so I prayed for it.
I After college, prepared for the Nursing Licensure Exam. On my first take, I failed but my mom said “It’s okay, there will always be a next time”, the second time that I failed, my mom was silent. I was lost for words on what to say for I knew deep in my heart that she would tell me to stop serving and focus on my Boards since I was still juggling service, review classes, family, friends, and relationship. That moment pushed me to ask my coordinators that I want to give up the responsibility that I have as Provincial Youth Head.
The words that I truly hate whenever I would talk to a youth about service and responsibility was the same words I used in talking to my coordinators because I do not want my responsibility in the community be a hindrance in being excellent in my academics. But every time I pray, I could hear the Lord saying “Sol, you don’t have to give up anything”. There was this one Kuya who asked me before I left for one of my review classes to clarify that if I would pass or fail the board exams, would I still serve? Hindi ko alam kung pride lang ba yung nararamdaman ko, pero ang sagot ko ay “Yes, I would still serve!”
My prayers that time turned into “Lord, let your will be done” to “Lord, let me pass the board exam so that I could serve you!” I was being conditional with my decision to serve. I was working in a BPO company and during the weekends, I would go home to serve and attend households. I was working on a tight shift, roughly 3-4 hours of sleep every day for the next 3 months. It was my daily routine.
Fully loaded up with caffeine, I felt that there was a void that I can’t fill. Exhaustion and frustration was putting me on the edge as I lay in my bed, I saw a sticky note that I wrote since the first time I started to review for the boards “You should be praying”, a reminder that it should always be my top priority as I start and end my day. My prayers changed from being conditional to “Lord, pass or fail, I will serve you”. I was grateful because it reminded me that no matter how tired I am, the commitment to serve was evident no matter the circumstances.
The results came and I passed the board exams. I passed not because of my own strength, but simply because of God’s grace.
After a few months, I was already serving him as a Mission Volunteer. One time, I came to a crossroad asking myself kung itutuloy ko ba o hindi? After the mass, it led me to constantly ask Him in prayer, “Lord, tinatawag mo ba talaga ako? Reply naman diyan!” From afar, there was this truck na humarang tapos ang nakalagay ay “REPSOL” natawa ako kasi parang sinabi sa akin na “Sol, matagal na kitang tinatawag. Hindi ako ang kailangan mag reply kasi ako ang unang nagtanong”. REPSOL = Reply Sol.
It was during my vacation in Ilocos that I asked my uncle in my discernment, sabi ko “Uncle, nag didiscern ako ngayon if I would go fulltime as a missionary or a Nurse to help my family”.
Ang sagot niya ay “Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and everything will be given unto you”. I didn’t understand what he was saying and the rest was history.
After those moments, I became a Fulltime Pastoral Worker and I’m on my eight year serving Him now.
Until this day, I am reminded of my calling and on how I journeyed with my YES. Same questions, doubts, fears are still present today but He never fails to remind me that when He calls you to serve, He also equips, and that He never abandons His people. It started with a question that turned into a prayer that led me to respond with a yes until today. Truly, pag ang Diyos ang tumatawag, wala kanang magagawa kundi ang kumapit at magtiwala.
