In the eyes of the world, I had the ideal life. I was cared for and loved by the people around me. My parents were and still are great providers. We had what we needed, and my older siblings and I went to good schools and all 3 of us are degree holders, my brother is now an OFW as nurse, and my sister is now a professor as well, and had just recently earned her PhD. But this meant they were away a lot. Because of this, I dreamt of big things just to be noticed. At a young age, I wanted to be in the military, a chef, and finally a Psychologist, at one point, I even wanted to be a medical doctor. I wanted to do so many things, I wanted to BE many things. I got blinded with the desire of pleasing everyone, I didn’t recognize what God wanted for me. I felt the pressure of achieving the same success my family did. They are all so accomplished; I just wanted to be like them. So, when I was in college, after being active in YFC for 2 years, I decided to be inactive.
I focused my time on being student with no extra curriculars. I already had it planned, to finish my undergrad, get a job, take the Board exam for Psychometricians, take up my masters in Clinical Psychology, and take the board exam for Psychologists, and then pursue my post-graduate studies in my dream school, just like one of my professors in college. I already had this checklist in mind. With this, in 2016, I got a job as an office clerk to try and save up for my masters, and at the same time, I reviewed for my board exam. Unfortunately, I was asked to resign because my direct superior didn’t want for me to be caught up in an issue that our office was facing, and so I did. During this time, I was asked by my cousin to be part of the Provincial Music Ministry for our annual Project Worship. I agreed, but I was hesitant because I didn’t own a guitar, but my cousin assured me that one of our generous coordinators would lend me one. But a week before our practice started, my brother came home and gave me an acoustic guitar. This has been one of my affirmations in the journey the Lord had paved for me, but was still unaware where He wants me. IN 2017, My parents decided to fund my masters, because by God’s grace I passed my board exams. I was now studying at my dream school, pursuing my masters with Clinical Psychology as a major.
As I was studying my masters, I also became more active in YFC. the Lord allowed me more opportunities to serve. After a while, I felt that I was called to be in mission, but still, unaware to what extent, so I decided to train to be a Mission Volunteer while studying my masters. But something was off, I was studying my dream course in my dream school, yet I could not understand where the Lord was taking me. With this I prayed and asked Him for me to desire what He wanted for me. It was a fateful night during the evening worship of the ICON in Ilocos Norte when the Lord answered me and called me to pursue Him as much as He pursued me. I decided to put my masters on hold, and after 2 years of discernment, I finally took the plunge and decided to train to be a missionary. It was not what I planned to be in my life. Growing up, I just wanted to be like everyone else, but this journey made me realize that He wanted me to be something more. It was in seeking Christ that I found true joy. It was in seeking God’s will that I truly found my purpose. By His grace, God led me to the best job in the world. Though the road ahead may still be filled with uncertainty, I am confident that just as the Lord led me to becoming a Fulltime Pastoral Worker, He will with me as I journey to places that lay beyond my horizons.
